Crispy Frickin' Chicken

Help! Somebody wake me up and get me out of this nightmare. I’m seriously starting to believe that surfing the net can adversely affect a person’s (mental) health. Consider some of these news item lifted from across the web.

Mar 5, 2008 Bordeaux, France (Reuters)
Cemetery full, mayor tells locals not to die

The headline says it all, folks.

According to the article from Reuters, “The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.”

An ordinance posted in the council offices warns the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish," adding, “Offenders will be severely punished."

The 70 year old Mayor, Gerard Lalanne, claims he was forced to take drastic action, saying, "It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me." Planning on going somewhere soon, Mr. Mayor?

I wonder just what the ordinance means when they say, “Offenders will be severely punished." What additional punishment can you inflict on a dead man?

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Mar 26, 2008 The Evening Standard (London)
Protecting the children

Hall Primary School in Clacton, Essex, decided to protect the children from pedophiles by covering their faces with “smiley faces” in the schools on-line newsletter.

Frank Furedi, a sociology professor at the University of Kent, said the school was being alarmist. "Every time a school takes silly measures, it says we see the world through the eyes of a pedophile. They think that any innocent picture of school children will somehow be subverted and manipulated.” Uh-huh.

The school has, apparently, taken down the controversial pictures from its website. A message on the website says: "Our newsletter section is undergoing maintenance. Back soon!" Uh-huh.

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Feb 28, 2008 AP Altoona, PA
Crispy Frickin' Chicken

The Associated Press article advises that, “A convenience store chain's billboard, advertising its fried chicken sandwich, is ruffling the feathers of some residents.” The sandwich, known as the “Crispy Frickin’ Chicken” sandwich had apparently upset some residents with its fowl language.

(By-law) enforcement officer Fran Calarco said "There was a lady who left an angry voice mail, and a man called and said he had small children and didn't think they should be exposed to that type of language. I told him I completely understood and agreed."

The convenience stores are owned by Sheetz Inc., based in Altoona and operating stores in Maryland, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Virginia and West Virginia. They took down the billboards a week later when the ad campaign was scheduled to end.

Maybe I should post an “Adult Content” warning on this site to keep the frickin’ assholes out?