Not for sissies

Sometimes, I wonder just how I managed to survive my childhood with only the slight amount of brain damage I’ve actually suffered. And, sometimes, I wonder just how I managed to survive my childhood at all.

Back in the fifties, I actually rode my bike every day without a helmet, knee pads or elbow pads. And, as I recall, my Dad once drove my mother, me and my little brother, all the way over Gillis Mountain to spend a week camping at Gillis Lake, without seatbelts. OK, so maybe my brother Tom should have been in a car seat, but nobody can say for sure that’s when he sustained the head injury. Besides, they hadn’t been invented yet.

When I, or my four siblings, got underfoot, my parents would often say things like: “Why don’t you kids go out and play.” I’m sure that many of the same hazards that exist today existed back in the fifties. Maybe parents back then just weren’t sophisticated enough to appreciate the hazards to which they were exposing their children with that simple admonition.

Back then, no one would dare wear a helmet when playing hockey for fear of being laughed off the bog that served as our local hockey/skating rink. Besides, going through the ice was a far greater hazard than getting hit in the head with a puck. (The town council solved that problem; they just filled in the bog with slag from the coal mine, forcing the kids to play street hockey.)

What got me to thinking about this stuff was a brief piece in a blog called Nobody’s Business , written by Rogier van Bakel. It’s a good site and I drop by there on a fairly regular basis.

In his post, Rogier had written, “Kids. They're precious, aren't they? So why not protect the delicate little flowers with an adorable Thudguard helmet, to be worn around the clock?” Following the link provided, I wound up on the homepage of an outfit called Gizmodo: The Gadget Weblog

According to Gizmodo, “Babies and toddlers aren’t best known for their ability to stop and go on command. This results in them spending much of their time using their head as the brake for most of their unexpected manoeuvres.”

“Meet the Thudguard, a helmet specifically designed to make sure your little Einstein doesn’t damage their brain along the way to learning how to walk and run. It’s targeted at kids aged from 7 months to 2 years old. And yes, if you send your child to crèche (a day nursery) wearing one of these, it will be singled out and bullied.” Uh-huh.

I suspect the folks at Gizmodo were being just a little sarcastic. And, some of the comments to their post were just as sarcastic. Here’s a small sample.

• I thought it was some form of a Mickey Mouse cult, look at those ears, lol
• I need one of these for everyday living. You never know when you might get kicked in the head by a ninja, so this could come in handy. Give me 12 of them for family and friends. Christmas shopping finished early this year
• Falling down and hitting your head is a very valuable experience. It teaches you things like: get out of the way, don't hang on that, don't push people, and just because you can reach, doesn't mean you should pull it off the shelf.
• Looks like my drinking helmet. I am not allowed to leave the house on weekends without it.

I need comment no further. Besides, when the McGinty government gets word of this, they will likely pass a law mandating these safety hats for use in every home and playground in Ontario. The Thudguard “infant safety hat” is available (seriously) for only 20 pounds sterling (roughly $40.00 Canadian). Visit their site here: ThudGuard