Country music has been around for a long time. Most people give Jimmie Rodgers and the Carter Family credit for the creation of the genre back in 1926 -1927Both those talents recorded old ballads, often with a new twist, before they got around to writing their own songs. However, neither of these icons can be blamed for the song titles populating the music scene since their demise.
Critics pan country for using the same tired cliches; writing songs about getting drunk, getting laid and going to jail. Admittedly, there are some themes used more or less consistently in country music. Country love songs, for example, seem to follow one of several formulae:
- Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets drunk and cries in his beer
- Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy gets drunk and cries in his beer
- Boy meets girl, girl loses boy to another girl, girl gets drunk and cries in her beer
- Boy meets girl, girl loses boy to another man, girl gets drunk and cries in her beer (Sorry folks, it’s true. Some guy wrote a song called, “I Fell For Her, She Fell For Him, He Fell For Me”
- Boy meets girl, boy catches girl cheating and shoots her winding up in jail before he can get drunk and cry in his beer
But not all country songs are love songs. For every song about some guy falling for a pretty girl, there’s one about some guy getting saddled with an ugly one. It’s just that songs about ugly women rarely reach the top of the country charts.
How many people have a copy of Ronnie Prophet’s Greatest Hits album, with Ronnie doing, “I Should Have Used A Brown Paper Sack”? Come on people. Give me a break. I can’t be the only one who bought that album. But, as bad as it was, Ronnie didn’t get as vicious as the guy who wrote, “I Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dog Fight (I’m Afraid She’d Win)” or that other classic put-down, “You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly”.
And, I’ve got very little time for guys who want to cry in their beer even when they get the girl. Mickey Gilley started it off with a song called, “Don’t All The Girls Look Prettier At Closing Time.” Wiilie Nelson piped in a few years later with a song called, “I Went To Bed At 2 With A 10 (And Woke Up This Morning At 10 With A 2)”.
I have absolutely no pity for those guys. Everybody knows drinking and chasing women go hand in hand. But guys, if you got that drunk, you got what you deserved. And if you found the situation so distasteful, maybe you should have gone home alone and hummed a few bars of, “At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump”. Ok, that’s not country, it’s a weird Al Yankovic song, but it fits well. From a personal point of view, when “She Looks Good Thru The Bottom Of My Shot Glass”, it’s time to call it a night.
And, I guess it should be pointed out that it’s not only guys who wake up in the morning disappointed. How about Deana Carter when she begs the question, “Is This Why I Shaved My Legs?” She doesn’t sound a bit like a happy camper to me.
And, I guess I should offer a word of advice to the girl who sang, “All The Guys Who Turn Me On, Turn Me Down”. Try getting to the bar a little later in the evening, preferably near closing time. And remember, all the girls look prettier through the bottom of a shot glass, so buy him a few drinks. He’ll love you for it and that’s what you’re after, after all. Or, you could follow the advice of Georgia White, an old blues artist who used to do a song called, "If I Can't Sell It I'll Keep Sittin' On It (Before I Give It Away). Yes, the song was about peddling ass.
Another staple of the country genre is songs about the womanizer who runs off with your woman sending you to the nearest bar to cry in your beer. Songs like, “He’s Got A Way With Women And He Just Got Away With Mine.” Or that other old country standard, “It Took A Helluva Man To Take My Anne, But It Sure Didn't Take Him Long “ or the one by Jim Eberhart that says, “My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend (And I Sure Do Miss Him)“
And, country singers always have a word or two to say about nagging wives; songs like, “It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night (That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long)
Wow. Reading all these great song titles has suddenly filled me with inspiration. I think I’ll grab my guitar and write myself a country song. I’ve already got the title. I’ll call it, “I’m Gonna Put A Bar In The Back Of My Car And Drive Myself To Drink.” No, maybe not. I think that one’s already been done.
But I will return to this topic at another time.
I have absolutely no pity for those guys. Everybody knows drinking and chasing women go hand in hand. But guys, if you got that drunk, you got what you deserved. And if you found the situation so distasteful, maybe you should have gone home alone and hummed a few bars of, “At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump”. Ok, that’s not country, it’s a weird Al Yankovic song, but it fits well. From a personal point of view, when “She Looks Good Thru The Bottom Of My Shot Glass”, it’s time to call it a night.
And, I guess it should be pointed out that it’s not only guys who wake up in the morning disappointed. How about Deana Carter when she begs the question, “Is This Why I Shaved My Legs?” She doesn’t sound a bit like a happy camper to me.
And, I guess I should offer a word of advice to the girl who sang, “All The Guys Who Turn Me On, Turn Me Down”. Try getting to the bar a little later in the evening, preferably near closing time. And remember, all the girls look prettier through the bottom of a shot glass, so buy him a few drinks. He’ll love you for it and that’s what you’re after, after all. Or, you could follow the advice of Georgia White, an old blues artist who used to do a song called, "If I Can't Sell It I'll Keep Sittin' On It (Before I Give It Away). Yes, the song was about peddling ass.
Another staple of the country genre is songs about the womanizer who runs off with your woman sending you to the nearest bar to cry in your beer. Songs like, “He’s Got A Way With Women And He Just Got Away With Mine.” Or that other old country standard, “It Took A Helluva Man To Take My Anne, But It Sure Didn't Take Him Long “ or the one by Jim Eberhart that says, “My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend (And I Sure Do Miss Him)“
And, country singers always have a word or two to say about nagging wives; songs like, “It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night (That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long)
Wow. Reading all these great song titles has suddenly filled me with inspiration. I think I’ll grab my guitar and write myself a country song. I’ve already got the title. I’ll call it, “I’m Gonna Put A Bar In The Back Of My Car And Drive Myself To Drink.” No, maybe not. I think that one’s already been done.
But I will return to this topic at another time.
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